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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615831">Death Whispers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyofsorrows645/pseuds/Ladyofsorrows645'>Ladyofsorrows645</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Death Whispers [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M, Poetry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:20:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615831</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyofsorrows645/pseuds/Ladyofsorrows645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaida Nishimura has always been haunted by misfortune so its no surprise that her prayer for a normal life is never completely answered.For Normalcy died when her cousin , Light Yagami picked up the deathnote and declared himself god. ( horrible summary but I guess it will work for now ) Disclaimer i own nothing</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Death Whispers [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Death was the whisper that an invisible god told me in my first clear moment of existence.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The crimson on my hands shined in the light of a slowly passing car in that first clear moment of existence.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The truth would echo throughout my mind forever .</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The truth would echo throughout the world forever with the presence of the light.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The truth would dance into silence forgotten realms if only the car would of passed by me instead it came to a stop. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>With a cautious questioning manner a shadowman edged his way towards me .</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The crimson upon my hands no longer shinned in the light having fallen unseen under the influence of the shadow. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The truth would still echo forever in my mind.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The truth would still echo forever throughout the world even without the light. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The shadow man commanded to know the truth. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Death was the whisper the invisible god told me. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Death was the truth I whispered to the shadow. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Silence was the command I whispered to Death. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Silence was the oath I made with myself.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Destiny was the silent action of the shadow mans hand taking hold of my crimson one and leading me on to the house of the would be successors of a prodigal. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The house of the would be successors held vast corridors plagued with a isolating laughter . </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The laughter of carefree disinterested orphan children that passed by me without seeing as they lost themselves in make believe realms . </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The laughter that morphed into the reminder of a far away golden past that led me to refuse to depart from the shadow man.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The shadowman became a human being as he stared down at me with thoughtful eyes. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Tears slide down my face . </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Shaking crimson hands held onto a white shirt sleeve stubbornly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The silent plead of this scene he studied with thoughtful eyes left him with one answer, one simple declaration of no. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The shadowman departed leaving me alone with the isolating laughter and a grimy whispered truth.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The shadowman departed as a monster not a man .</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> A shadow was the hell for all the would be successors. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Beyond the ambition in their minds to surpass the shadow of the prodigal there was to be little more then decaying shards of hope.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Apathy was not yet present in the characters of the successors when they rescued me from the laughter cursed isolation. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bright and brilliant these successors,these prodigies, these simple young boys were. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Anxiety and anger was the character of my every silent action traveling through the melody of years alongside the successors. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Biter was the day when the first bright glint left each of their eyes. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Anything I would promise the invisible God every midnight before I prayed for their salvation. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But everyday a competition was presented in place of what remained of our time in pursuit of childish friendships. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A day came when an heir was chosen by the prodigal. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Between them I stood silently watching the creatures of fear and jealous raging war amongst their crippled spirits. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Anything I promised the invisible God before every silent prayer for their salvation.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But from the silent invisible God I received the apathy cursed gazes of the successors as my only answers.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> A whispered truth in the form of silent laughter less halls greeted me one beautiful morning. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The orphans no longer played games of carefree make believe as they heard the whispered truth. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Broken the would be successor was as we embraced in the silent hall.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Dead ,gone, sucide the would be successor hissed in my ear between moments of fighting back legions of tears.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Anything I promised the invisible God before silently praying one final time for the successor's salvation.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Briefly the would be successor looked up with a grim fixation on some unknown thing just beyond the top of my head. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Broken I slid down the wall and onto the cold floor after becoming a confused victim of a violent unpredictable rage. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>For a flicker of a moment pity took the place of the monster staring down at me. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Kaida Nishimura, the would be successor began in a harsh whisper.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Go home the would be successor would discover himself shouting.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Crimson hands and a grim truth was all I could see as I shock my head no. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Coward the would be successor shouted at me as another one of his violent wraths raged down upon me. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Laughter filled the halls in broken insane plagued bursts. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But still for all of the horror filled spectacle of this monster's laughter it still inspired the resurrection of a memory of a far away golden past. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The laughter sang in the tone of a loving assassinated mother. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The laughter sang in the tone of a loving grief stricken Aunt and uncle. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The laughter sang in the tone of a clever questioning older cousin.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The laughter sang in the tone of a stranger good little cousin. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Then only the dying echo of the insane laughter remained in the hall .</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> This laughter hissed in the tone of a murderous dead father.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Wraith stilled , the monster quieted but my quiet tears remained alive. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Beyond the top of my head with a bitter fixation the would be successor would remain studying seeming to have forgotten the sucide of the crowned heir. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Go home the would be successor command me as I limped down the silent abandoned hall. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Time is short the would be successor warned with a character of dying pity. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Crimson hands no longer scarlet still echoed the whispered truth. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Tears echoed the whispered truth. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The would be successors hell was the prodigals shadow. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Kaida Nishimura hell was the fear of hearing the echos of the whispered truth from the mouths of her far away golden past. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Everything echoed , everything shouted, everything whispered the truth so Kaida Nishimura journeyed home. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ancient grief and relief walked hand and hand in the quiet meeting of a niece and uncle. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Death was the truth I wrote uneasily to my uncle. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Death was a truth I rather let exist only in silence.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Tearful embraces was my welcome back into the realm of a golden past. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Anything I promised the cruel invisible God as I prayed selfishly for a immortal golden future.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But Death whispers even in the form of a silently shakily written note.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A series of unfortunate events</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>" Look around you,and all you will see are people   <br/>          the world would be better off without"</p>
<p>                            -Yagami Light(Kira)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>WARNING : There is a part of this chapter that has attempted Rape so please don't read this if that bothers you.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joy was the word I wrote on the foggy bathroom mirror this morning over a hundred times until it remained a constant thought in my mind. The colors of joy were to be found in my outfit today instead of my favored midnight ones . Joy was my only mission and concern today which made highschool an unimportant idea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My phone was in a never ending state of informing with a little help from an annoying song that Light held a vast dislike for my idea of skipping school today. Rolling my eyes I continued to walk down the street ignoring the musical screams of my phone certain that it would fall silent when Light arrived at his classroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I gifted a small glowing smile to every wonderful human that passed by me on the sidewalk. The skies were a perfect azul which brought me to a train of thought that believed that every broken and non broken being in the world would find a golden reason to enjoy life this day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I arrived at the entrance of a park I was met with the sight of a laughing child dragging his mother with all of the strength of his inpatient towards the swing sets. She shared with me a tired shake of her head and an amused look in her otherwise exhausted eyes as she made a slowed moving defeated march towards the swings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I gifted her a look of good luck feeling almost weightless at witnessing such a common light hearted moment of life. My relaxed walk became a carfree skip as I traveled deeper into the park filled with so many delightful scenes. I made note of all of these moments in my notebook from a smiling old couple feeding a legion of demanding squirrels to a boy comforting a weeping young girl after she dropped her vanilla ice cream onto the ground .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Every dream of joy seemed to come alive in this park which left me gripping my notebook with such excitement that nearly left it in a state of ill repair . A boy sat underneath a tree seeming all but trying to hide away from the world in its shade. He looked at me with a startled expression that left me confused for a moment until I realized my small grin had grown to a slightly deranged appearing one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Taking a deep breath I willed my emotions into a more manageable state that would allow my smile to return to normal . Focusing on the boy more I realized he was the same impatient child from when I first arrived at the park a few hours before .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An unacceptable frown began to form in place of my smile as I realized the boy was crying and his mother was nowhere to be seen. Looking around the area I was met only with the sight of a young couple walking a dog but no one else was around. Why would his mother leave a child maybe only seven years old alone ? Maybe they have been separated, that's probably why he's crying ?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I gifted the boy a small gentle smile as I began to flip through my notebook in search of a blank page. “ My name is Kaida what's wrong” I wrote down then proceeded to show him as I silently prayed that whatever was troubling him was not too problematic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked at me with tearful dark eyes that were dancing with confusion as he looked from the notebook then back at me . He seemed to want to ask me about my silence but his curiosity of that was forgotten in face of whatever troubled him.” Mommy said she had to go away for awhile. She said I had to stay here . I want my mommy,” He said in a small weak voice that made me want to throw the notebook at him and run away until I was somewhere where I could only find joy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes for a moment I willed myself to stay in order to help the child knowing if I ran my heart would haunt me with this forever. “What's your name” I wrote and he replied with that small weak voice saying ,” Ren.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My eyes began to burn and I fought to keep something unforgivable from falling from them. “Ren” I wrote sloppily with shaky hands onto the page before all other words fled my mind. I felt a little hand poke my side as I stared down at the haunting name.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Little… Ren had such tragically innocent eyes when he asked me if I was okay? I nodded my head slightly to let the kid know I was fine as I continued to write with a shaking hand. “ Ren I will wait with you until your mother gets back” I had written alongside a scratched out statement that would have read I miss my mom too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked at the scratched out statement with curiosity and was in the middle of questioning me about it when someone screamed ice cream on the top of their lungs. We both looked on with confused expressions as the couple with the dog quite excitedly made their way towards an ice cream cart .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Out of the corner of my eye I studied little Ren who stared at the ice cream cart with an intense longing. Poking him in the side until he turned his focus back on me. I looked at him with a knowing smile as I pointed at the ice cream cart. Little Ren dark eyes danced with an innocent joy as he nodded his head yes in what seemed an endless joyful moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As we found ourselves a little while later back underneath the shade of the tree with Ice cream cones little Ren began to watch the path with a determined focus. Eating some apple flavored ice cream with a bitter sinking feeling in my stomach I feared that little Ren's mother was nevering going to travel down this path in search of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Biting down a rush of wraith I willed my hand to write gently instead of wielding the pen as though it was a sword. Over the next few hours little Ren and I sat underneath that tree exploring so many different topics leaving me to marvel at how such an innocent child could hold such serious debates with a constant knowledgeable little mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Little Ren now lays on the grass, lazyly cloud gazing as the day becomes an elder drawing very near to the hour of its twilight's death. Looking down at my phone I absently noticed with a nearly dead surprise that Light had never left another called or text after the ones from this morning. Odd that was odd ,he always liked to complain especially when I did something that he did not see as the proper way of doing things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The thought did not really hold any importance it just served to be a postponement from delivering the final stab wound to the dying joy of today. Concerns over Light faded away as I looked around one final time to see if little Ren mother would do the right thing and come back for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Discovering nothing I went on to text Uncle Soichiro to inform him of what had happened.” No,” little Ren's weak voice said from behind me nearly causing me to send my phone flying from fright .” No Kaida she is coming back,” Little Ren said his voice sounding on the edge of hysterics .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Turning to look at Ren with his dark tragic eyes I realized how much I hated the child. Pity and smiles were gone from my character at the moment our eyes met leaving me to shake my head no in the aftermath of this foolish boy statement. Tears fell from those stupid dark eyes as he slowly backed away leaving me with the temping idea of letting him run away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But my heart and Uncle knew what happened so I could never allow him to flee. He barely made it a few running steps from the tree's shade when I took hold of him. Pathetic I wanted to hiss in his face as he fought and screamed. After a while his fight quieted and his screams became hideous sobs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>" Why did she leave me,” he asked with a tear haunted tone. I looked down at Ren with a simple glare before hugging the pathetic child. There was only silence between us for the remainder of our time together before Uncle Soichiro arrived.Concern laced together with his classic seriousness was the character of my uncle as he made a careful slow procession towards us.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ Kaida,” He called my name with a certain firm gentleness that forced the daze of my mind to clear, leading me to focus on the fact that I was holding Ren's body in a near bone breaking hold. Releasing him slowly I gently nudge Ren in the direction of Uncle without daring to look down at his tragic dark gaze .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ren made his way hesitantly towards Uncle Soichiro who made an effort to smile brightly down at the boy. The smile's brightness was massacred by the pity Uncle felt for the poor boy . The pity filled smile was the killer of the last bit of joy the boy had for it completely destroyed the hope that his mother had not abandoned him forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ Everything is going to be fine. What's your name,” Uncle Soichiro asked as he knelt down in front of Little Ren who was struggling to keep from crying again. “ Ren,” The poor boy's answered which left Uncle to then direct his attention to me with a knowing slightly broken spirit in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Smile I ordered myself as something unforgivable escaped my eyes and flowed by my face like an endless river.Smile I begged myself as Ren turned towards me with those dark tragic eyes that had begun to weep too .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ Kaida its okay just come over here,” Uncle Soichiro said lightly almost like he was afraid of something perhaps thinking that I was about to break and bolt again.”Kaida,” Said the trembling pathetic child as he stood a few feet away from me with tragic wide eyes that begged me too not leave him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All I want is to be happy I silently screamed to the world as I glared at my Uncle and the foolish child. I meet the burning gaze of my uncle shaking my head at him as if to silently say no nothing is okay. Then I found myself running in the direction of the dying sunset with my ears echoing with weeping and worried voices of Ren and my Uncle begging me to come back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>………………………</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Red and perfect they were it almost made me smile seeing such fine apples. The light feeling of joy almost resurrected itself inside of my spirit as I picked up one. The apple brought back a memory now a week old of sayu demanding me after her first grand experience with my homemade apple flavored ice cream to make apple pie as soon as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her eyes held an innocent carefree nature as she smiled up at me with a bossy hand on her hip. Her eyes were far happier then the tragic ones of Ren but still they both looked back at me with haunting identical innocence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With that the apples lost their joy just as that stupid boy and the day had. I put the apples in a cloth bag still even though I wanted to avoid anything that brought about a bitter feeling . Apple pie was all that sayu wished of me so I would make it because at the very least she should be able to smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Scouring the isles of the store I came to find a little notebook with cute fanged bats printed all over its covers, the perfect replacement for the one I left underneath the tree in the park. The notebook was the fifth one this month I had lost and probably the hundred something one I misplaced this year alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While I walked towards the front of the store I searched through my batman themed purse for the cash I needed completely ignoring everything around me. A blonde hurricane of hair was all I saw from the corner of my eye before being knocked onto the ground . “ Sorry… Sorry but help me please ,” A female voice begged from beyond the veil of dark locks that had landed in front of my eyes during the fall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Blowing the dark nuisances out of my face I began to pick up my things with a glare pointed up at this wide eyed blonde damsel. “ Please the girl at the register just ignored me and this crazy man chased me here…and AND HE WANTS TO KILL ME,” The blonde damsel hisses in my face leaving herself breathless in the silence that follows.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I gifted her a look of disinterest then went back to picking up the now slightly bruised apples . There was a loud pair of footsteps that sounded like a reckoning as they closed in on our location. When the man came to stand at the opening of the aisle he studied me with a calm gaze and commanded me gently to leave before he called the blonde damsel a doomed stupid bitch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nodding my head in understanding to the man I began to make my way towards him with a notebook , batman purse and apples happily in hand. “ Is humanity truly this dead ,” The blonde damsel asks the world as the man begins to laugh and I arrive at the point of no return.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bruised apples to my great regret go flying with perfect force into the startled cursed face of this nameless man. As the apples fall away from a now bloody face a batman themed purse goes about ensuring their victory . As the notebook slams onto the tile floors the now dazed bloody faced man hits the can filled shelves with an of unforgiving force. Cans rain down on us as the shelves barely manage to stay upright . Unconscious and bloody , perfect and red this man was I realized as a smile almost formed on my face again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I grab the arm of the blonde damsel as she was in the middle of giving me a hug and shouting a never ending requiem of thank yous. I led her towards the exit of the store with my eyes peeled for the uncaring cashier woman as the thoughts of her odd actions named her a villain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The cashier stood before the sliding glass doors with a small knife in one of her shaking hands. Her eyes were alight with a lost dazed grief as she went on to speak to us ,” Riku only wanted to kill that little whore for trying to put his little brother… his last family member alive behind bars . Why did you have to help her?Why did you have to hurt such a good man…he...he was trying to do the right thing!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde damsel escaped my hold and moved a few steps closer to the cashier unafraid of her knife only focused on accomplishing her wraiths dream. The blondes ebony lace gloved hands were shaking as she yelled ,” Good men don't protect killers of innocent families! Good men don't try to kill orphan girls that are just trying to fight for justice for their murdered parents!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The cashier tilted her head to the side laughing a little before she began to speak,” Murder? Your parents deaths were a matter of sacrifice for the betterment of a few unfortunate souls. Rikus brother loved playing Robin Hood, you know, taking from the rich and giving to the poor. We were starving just barely making enough money a month to keep this place , Rikus families business alive. Your parents chose to sacrifice their lives when they fought to keep a little money from a desperate family that was on the brink of extinction.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde damsel fingernails dug into the covered skin of the palms of her hands as she screamed shut up . Blinded by a veil of melancholy and rage she put no focus on the sharp blade that the cashier was about to stab her throat with. She released a small short scream as I pulled her backwards by her arm harshly towards safety .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A cold steady instinct bazed in my gaze as I met the eyes of the unsteady standing cashier. She went soaring through the air after I kicked her in the stomach. Panic danced in her features before morphing into a desperate shock as her body slammed into the slowly reacting sliding glass doors. She released a near inaudible wimper of pain until the doors opened enough for her form to fall backwards out onto the concrete . Red and dead she was as blood from the back of her shattered skull flooded around her fallen form.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A scream sounded from behind me as I watched the blood trailing its way closer towards my white sneakers. A knife tightly wielded across the blonde damsel's delicate neck just teetering on the edge of becoming deadly was the sight that greeted me as I turned. “How did it feel ,” Rukis asked me as he watched the blood begin to stain my white sneakers .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Silence and a small step towards him was my only answer. The blonde damsel began to scream for me to stop causing Ruki to hold the knife even closer to her neck. Silent she became as small barely noticeable drops of blood slid down her throat. She stared at me with wide dark tragic eyes and I found myself taking another step forward .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>” Stop,” Ruki hissed with that stupid threat of murder clearly flashing though his fire filled eyes. I glared at him before taking another step forward, simply wanting this to be over one way or another. “ Don't you care,” Ruki asked softly as the silent damsel looked at me with those stupid dark tragic eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Silence and another step forward was yet again the only answer he received from me. The damsel began to weep and the fire in Ruki's eyes was quickly quieting… almost as if his spirit was dying. His hold loosened on the knife until it fell away from the damsel's throat and she ran until she stood watching the scene by my side. Ruki's eyes were wide as his shaking hands clawed at the clothes above his chest, his heart. He fought desperately to breathe. He fought desperately to not die but he did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Corpses I imagine could understand the language of silence so Ruki would finally understand my answer to his questions, which was a simple I don't know. I don't think my answer brought Ruki or the cashier any peace for their dead gazes still shined with frozen terror.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Was it terror or annoyance that made my body tremble uncontrollably perhaps it was both?I smiled as tears slid down my face. Was that the result of joy and intense melancholy raging war against each other in pursuit of control over my mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ What odd timing,” the blonde said with an odd broken laugh as she stared down at Ruki's body with wonderment. Her wonderment turned towards me with annoying and terrifying intensity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ Don't cry just smile… just be joyful,” The blonde began as she whipped away the tears on my face before finishing with “ That stupid...Ruk…whatever was just going to butcher us with the help of that crazy girlfriend or whoever that girl was. His brother massacred my family in front of me. The best the court gave me for justice was for that monster to serve a few years behind bars for robbery. It's better there dead, it's the best justice this rotten world can give us.” A grin formed on her face as her gaze traveled back to Ruki's cooling corpse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ Looks like a god was on our side even if it was at the last second. My name is Amane Misa  what's yours,” The blonde asks with a distant tone just as the sound of sirens was heard in the distance. The smile fell from my face as the sirens' screeching melody grew closer to us .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Red and dreadful my white bloodstained sneakers were as they served as evidence of what I had become ,a murder just like my father . Stumbling over the cashier's body nearly falling onto it before I managed to get away from the store and out onto the sidewalk . Misa chased after me for a time with annoying determination before eventually no longer finding the strength to continue her doomed hunt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sirens faded into the distance with only the sounds of my shoes slamming onto the concrete to keep me company. Stopping only when my body collapsed in a dark trash filled alley desperately gasping for the foul smelling air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I laid there gazing up at the gray heavens I saw them as smoke rising up from my burning childhood home where my mother and her poems were fated to be nothing but ashes. My father had laughed as he dragged me away from the fires with my mother's blood still drying on his hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I imagined the blood on my shoes was hers as I tore them off my feet and threw them into a dumpster . Why was I bothering to run away from the truth? Why was I bothering to hide it ? Millions of fears were racing through my wicked spirit as I limped barefoot down the streets of Tokyo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>………………………………………..</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My yellow dress held the tiniest specks of blood that could easily be dismissed as a common ketchup stain by any passerby. Which left my existence unnoticed as I walked barefoot and stupid down the side walk. My hands trembled subtly as I ran them through my sweat filled hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While gazing around at my surroundings I realized I was only a short walk away from home. Smiling at the thought absently I skipped down the sidewalk without care.Joy was the little endless melody playing inside of my mind that slowly put all my fears to rest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The truth of Misa ,the corpses and the burning house faded as the melody played. Though my father's laughter remained echoing alongside the melody almost sounding innocent without knowing it's true origin. Then the innocence turned vile within the laughter as I realized it was not haunting my mind but existed in the real world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The laughter of men and the roar of their motorcycle engines drowned out the melody, my last shard of joy. “ Hey baby,Where you going,” A man asked me with eyes alight with a dark desire as he and his two companions parked their bikes around me. Frowning I looked around for a quick get away as an unnerved shiver ran down my spine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"The names Shibuimaru Takuo  ,little lady . Come hangout with us , pretty lady. You look down on your luck, a little fun with us will fix that. So what do you say,” As Takuo spoke with a dangerous suggestive tone I met the gaze of a girl standing amongst a group of giggling females. The girl gifted me a nervously pitying look before turning her attention back towards her giggling friends, completely leaving me to my fate. I felt a hand take a cruel hold of my arm only a moment later .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ So what do you say little sad pretty lady to having some fun,” Takuo whispered into my ear with a slow chuckle leaving the hairs at the back of my neck to stand up. Help… no I found myself screaming in my cursed silent language as I began to try to escape this monster with the bitter realization that I was alone in this fight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Somehow amongst my struggling I escaped his hold leaving me to almost fall face first onto the road. Gathering myself quickly I broke into a sprint trying in vain to get by one of his companions. The man that caused the failure of my escape had wide eyes fueled with excitement . When he began to speak to Takuo he sounded like a child or puppy desperate for approval ,” Isn’t that cute Takuo hottie here tried to run away. Say Takuo can I have the honors first?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then I was pushed backwards into Takuo chest with the vile laughter echoing in my ears. There was a freezing sensation on my neck as Takuo placed a mental bar roughly against my throat.” Sure, now strip her down. I'm ready to have some fun,” Takuo said lazily as he pulled the metal bar against my throat nearly causing me to choke to death.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Takuo's sickly excited friend graded a bundle of the yellow fabric at the bottom of the dress as he stared at me with a wide grin. “ Are you sure,” asked Takuo's second friend with a slight uneasy tone .” I am perfectly certain this is what I want to do. People have walked passed us fully knowing we are about to rape this little sad lady here. See the group of girls just two stores over giggling about useless things fully ignoring what's happening here. No one cares to help so why fear justice ,” Takuo said impatiently as he brought me closer towards his chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Takuo's first friend began to bite his lip until it bleed as what he thought was a marvelous idea came to him.” Takuo you are right yet again what does the consequences truly matter? You know what Hottie I will even tell you my name it's not like it really matters you're still doomed. I'm Amano Goro  ,” He shouted to the world as if expecting applause then pulled up the bottom of my dress until it just barely covered my breasts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The yellow fabric began to ripe at Goro's harsh treatment of it. A numbing trance trapped my spirit as I gaze up at Goro’s diabolical hungry gaze.” Not going to fight that's good,” Takuo whispered mockingly into my ear then began laughing. The laughter reminds me of my fathers .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>" Don't g...give up kai..da,” the phantom dying words of my mother pleads to me as my underwear is ripped off . “ Don't g...give up kai..da,” my phantom mother whispers again as the taste of blood and flesh fills my mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Takuo screams and the metal bar falls away from my neck to hit the ground with a loud clack. Goro twisted amusement turns to horror as a spiteful of his friends flesh comes to paint his face red.Then I stumble across a desolate street with a putrid metallic taste haughty me .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Wait up … Little lady,” Takuo says in a pained wrathful tone.The motorcycle engine starts and all too soon I was painted in the brightest of headlights. The wind blowing around me forces my body forwards just as I make it across the street. A horn cries out a useless warning before metal and glass collide together. Glass dances through the air all around me as I kneel on the sidewalk trying to fight the urge to puke. The noise around me fades with the sight of a severed hand laying on the concrete before me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fresh shallow cuts send numbing pain throughout my body as I sit there contemplating the bloody hand before me.I am okay I think to myself for what seems like a hundred times without knowing if it was in a questioning manner or not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“OH MY GOD,” reads the lips and minds of all who witness this scene. Goro stares aimlessly at Takuos unrecognizable scattered corpse with all the despair of a devouted worshiper mourning the demise of their beloved god. At first it's a quiet rage living inside his form as he stares at me then it morphs into a demon starved for retribution.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>” I WILL KILL YOU,” Goro shouts but all I hear is a whisper. He yells endlessly as he makes his way towards me across the now silent street. “ TO GOD I SWEAR YOU WILL SUFFER BEFORE I KILL YOU,” Goro shouts yet again but still all I hear is a whisper. Rain begins to beat down upon us as he smiles a broken twisted gleeful grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His promise is fated to remain void of truth to whatever deity he speaks of it would seem. Goro's twisted grin shrinks into a frown, a much more fearful prideless creature. The hungry demon deserts Goros eyes in a quick succession leaving only terror to remain behind. He claws at his chest as his body falls forwards in a shaky uncontrollable fit. I almost touched the severed hand as I stumbled away from Goro. Goro fought desperately to live just as Ruki had but all the same they shared the same fate. Now he is but a cooling corpse with his dead gaze cursed with frozen terror.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Takuo last nameless companion is already riding away on his motorcycle with all the composure one can possess after witnessing what seemed to be divine justice. Maybe Misa was right when she said it looked like a god was on our side even if it was at the last second.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The girl with the umbrella</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“ In the end, there is no greater motivation than    <br/>                            revenge” </p><p>                          - Mello (death note)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The girl that did nothing to help me was now using her umbrella to shelter me from the rain . Lucky she called me with a small smile as rain unrelentlessly fell upon her short form. Leave me alone I wanted to hissed up at the girl  but like always my desire was made into a fantasy by the will of silence . </p><p>  Pieces of glass were littered throughout my fresh opened wounds. Biting down on my lip I forced myself to stand but the burning wraithful touch of the glass shards sent me to the floor once more. I layed there on the concrete with new tears sliding down my face and more bleeding scraps marking my body. </p><p>  “Remember your lucky so very lucky Kaida,”  The girl with the umbrella said, still sheltering me from the rainfall. Glaring up at her I wished I was not cursed with this silence. How do you know my name and how could I be lucky are the questions I would ask her if I only had a voice. The sight of my tears kills the smile upon the girl's face leaving only a bitter frown in the aftermath of its slaughter.</p><p>    “  Why does luck always seem to be in favor of those that don’t deserve it,”  The girl asks with her rain covered face looking up towards the ebony somber heavens. Who is that question for I wonder as I try to stand once more. Was it for me or for herself? Perhaps the question was more of a desperate prayer to an unfair God.</p><p>   Laughter begins to ring in my ears as I find myself staring up at a storming night sky broken and defeated. Tears were being harshly wiped away from my face by the girl who did nothing but smile guilty when she saw I was about to be raped. Raindrops and tears steal away the clarity of my vision leaving only a blurred reality behind .</p><p>  “ You don’t deserve to cry or to have escaped those monsters, Kaida. If anything you should have suffered a far worse fate then what those fucking rapists had in mind for you!Rivka deserves to be able to cry and to be lucky like you but she is dead ! Kaida why did you kill my twin sister? Weren’t both of you supposed to best friends forever,”  The girl hissed with her nails digging into the skin on the sides of my face. </p><p>   Was she talking about the dead girl that was at that store? No, Rivka could not have been that dead Japanese girl. The girl with the umbrella had a blue stormy gaze and a head full of natural untamable blonde curls along with a voice that came from the realms of Britain . </p><p>   My hands are stained crimson with only the blood of that dead Japanese girl not this Rivka. Her hands are shaking and her long nails are beginning to be painted a sickening red. The girl's blue gaze holds the cold determination of a killer as she stares down into my hazel eyes. </p><p>  My hand wonders over the glass covered concrete quietly searching for anything that could distract her long enough until the police arrived . I feel the palm of my hand drift over a huge sharp piece of glass which for a moment fills me with a powerful desire to kill this girl. </p><p> “ You're not going to say anything not even to try and save yourself,”  The girl asks quietly as the rainfall begins to stop revealing that both rain water and tears had been flowing down her face all this time. </p><p>   “ Are you even sorry,” She questions me as I touch the soggy cool skin of Takuo’s stiff detached hand before taking hold of it.</p><p>   ” Say something,” she shouts before she slams my head down onto the cement in annoyance at my mute stillness .</p><p>  Black spots race across my vision almost stealing my consciousness as I hit this insane shocked girl in the face with that dead monsters hand.Screams of terror and the girls wrathful voice calling me a bitch thunders through my ears as I struggle to crawl away from what I know could be my death.</p><p>   “ Watch out ,” A familiar males voice shouts right before my left arm gives out on me . Warm rivers flow down from a new gruesome wound on my left shoulder. The sensation of suffering is the only thing I feel as I crawl slowly towards the voice that belongs to the only person that seems to care about me.</p><p>     When the familiar voice hissed stop for a moment my doomed determination to live withered to a point it nearly departed from me entirely. Then a gunshot rings out just as the huge glass shard is jabbed into the center of my right palm. </p><p>    There was no scream, only a seemingly endless requiem of gunfire ripping apart the short form of the insane blonde girl. The pain from my wounds silenced and the gunfire was for a long while the only noise in the world.</p><p>  What remained of the demolished body of the girl with the umbrella collapsed beside me. Her stormy blue killer eyes were blown to bits along with a large portion of her neck. </p><p>  My body had become a grotesque masterpiece of blood ,glass and guts. The familiar voice shouted my name with such a terrified dread that I finally thought to look up and discover who it was that still dared to care about me.</p><p>   A small smile formed on my face at the sight of my uncle racing across the street towards my fallen form with a gun in hand. He kept looking anxiously between me and something high up probably in one of the buildings behind me. </p><p>   I hardly cared to wonder if my small observation was of any deadly importance to my life. All that was considered important to me in that moment was the fact I was finally happy and it was raining again… and I was cold…and I wondered what had happened to the girl with the umbrella ...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Light's mom was only able to salvage one of Yagamai Ren’s poem</b>
  <b> from the ruins of her burnt down home.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>She never dared to share it with anyone .                            </b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>   I am dead  when the infant begins to cry alone on the monster's doorstep .</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Run I told the weak nameless child until I numbly realized the stupidity of my commands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Shut up the monster growled from the darkness of its home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Quiet I begged the sobbing unwanted child as I  glazed back </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    into the darkness of the monster's house. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>   Help me the sobbing seemed to loudly say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>   Don’t leave the little outstretched arms seemed to silently order. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>  Shut it up the monster growled as I slammed the door shut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>   Who is the monster my conscience whispered as I ran away with the abandoned nameless child in hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>   The person that left him was my first careless answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>   But no that was not the correct answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>   Thinking of the purple necklace that mars my neck painfully I give my second answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    But no that is not correct either, my conscience taunts before daring me to try one final time .</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    I am the monster I admit as the memory of another weeping infant comes alive inside of my phantom mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>   Don’t leave me, the other child’s first screams had seemed to beg me .</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>   I can help you, my brother's wife had naively promised me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>   Not for one moment did I feel the desire to return to the monsters home as a mother.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     You can be free , my brother had told me .</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     What is freedom to the living dead , I had asked him as the other child began to scream again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>      Nothing, I lied when I realized the only reply I would get was the other child’s unwanted screams.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>      I had fled after that into the arms of the monster… of the man that loves to gift me painful purple necklaces.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Now I’m running away with this nameless child in search of his monster… his mother.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>      We soon find a woman drowning her regrets in a small sea of spirits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>       The nameless infant stops its weeping at the sight of the regretful drunken woman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>      Mommy the infant's dark gaze seemed to name this regretful woman as.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    What’s his name , I asked wishing that this world would slay at least one of its monsters .</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     But no the world only lets the regretful woman deny him everything, even a simple name.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Not even I denied my own blood child a name.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Soon the cruel regretful woman was drowning her regrets in a sea of crimson caused by the helpful aid of a shattered spirits bottle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Wraith is such an extreme justice seeker in the hands of a monster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     I am a monster but I am not pitiful enough to be one drowning in regrets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     So this time I will not run back into the arms of a monster… of a man that loves to gift me painful purple necklaces.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     The infant gazes up at me with a knowing look and begins to giggle joyfully at his mother's killer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>      Everything after that giggle began to resemble a happy fairytale .</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>      I never had to face justice for playing the role of a shinigami that one fateful time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>      The naïve wife of my brother became the perfect mother to the nameless infant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>       Little Kaida became my perfect daughter without one ounce of darkness to poison her soul.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>        With the taking of one useless life I was alive and free again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>        My monster was a fearful creature who never dared to leave the darkness of his home in search of me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>        It’s tragic that I used to fear and love such a pathetic man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>        The darkness of those years over time became unspoken fables we all decided were best left forgotten.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>        My little accomplice was christened with the name Light. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>        All I could do was laugh at that .</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>        And remember what a happy ending he had seemed to gift me with after one innocent bloodthirsty giggle.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I Hate Algebra</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sayu </p><p> </p><p>“ I hate algebra,” I hissed through clenched teeth as I glared down at the world's most ludacris quadratic equation. “ I will destroy you even if it’s the last thing that I will ever do,” I shouted as I crumbled up another piece of scratch paper before discarding it into the growing pile of failure at my feet . </p><p>  My hands are shaking , my eraser is nearly extinct and with one look at the annoying ticking clock I could tell that my dear genius brother would be back home too late to be my savior. I glanced up at my mom with a plea dancing upon my lips until she ruthlessly denied me aid because it was all gibberish to her as well. </p><p>    “ I hate algebra ,” I hissed again with a bitter sigh as I stared longingly over at the television wishing with all of my heart that I could watch something starring Hideki Ryuga in it for just … one minute … at the very least. Tragically it seems that the value of my wishes does not hold enough worth in the eyes of fate for them to decide to alter my destiny.</p><p>    “Is Kaida home mom,” I asked suddenly as I realized that I had not seen Kaida since yesterday night. “ She’s studying with her friend, Harue at his house sweetie ,” Mom said as she stopped preparing dinner for a moment so she could make a point to look me in the eyes and smile warmly at me.</p><p>     ” You're a liar,” I find myself blurting out without a hint of self control .</p><p>    ” How am I  a liar Sayu because I was never aware that I was one,”  Mom questioned me with a raised eyebrow as I tossed my pencil to the side and slowly ran my fingers through my tangled hair trying to buy myself some time to think carefully about what my next words would be . </p><p>   “  Mom you're a natural multitasker so it’s weird when you stop doing everything just to answer a normal question. Besides, Light told me that was the best way to tell if you're lying or not .Also Kaida found out last night that Harue has the flu . So there’s no way that she would be in a five mile radius of him  ,”  I answered quickly, never daring to look in mom’s direction.</p><p>      Soon all I hear is the sound of my mom’s heels clanging against the wooden floor as she quickly makes her way towards me .  With a shaking hand she drops an ordinary harmless golden key onto the paper covered table right in front of me.</p><p>    ”  I want you to clean up Kaida’s bedroom for me before your father gets home,”  my mom’s commands with a rare finality before she leaves me alone and confused with a golden key that suddenly seems to hide a dreadful secret.</p><p>     My heart is sinking when I dare to voice this question ,”  Why do I need to clean Kaida’s room before dad gets home?” </p><p>  “  Because Sayu being a liar is a game for the living not the dead. Kaida is … gone and she left behind a few deceptions that your father and brother are better off never knowing about. So clean her bedroom until it looks like it belonged to a normal girl that tragically died in some random deadly act of violence.”</p><p>      In the aftermath of mom’s answer I stared down at that stupid quadratic equation for a long time . Then I glazed over at the annoying ticking clock and hoped for a short time that the front door would open to reveal the normally darkly clothed form of my cousin. </p><p>     “ Sayu … please…. clean up her room for me sweetie,”  My mom begged suddenly as she pulled me from my chair and forced the golden key into my hand.</p><p>      “ Why do I have to be the liar now ,”  I softly whispered before glazing over at the front door hoping that the tales of haunting lingering phantoms were real.  But there was nothing to see besides a cruelly closed door.</p><p>      “  She promised that she would teach me how to make a apple pie so mom she just can’t be dead,” I found myself yelling as I threw the golden key at my mother's sorrow plagued face .</p><p>       She caught the key with shaking hands right before it managed hit its mark. Her eyes were wide fearful creatures as she stared back at me for a long dragged out moment.</p><p>        “  Please forgive her Sayu but promises can only be honored by the living,”  Mom dared to whisper after she managed to hide the fearful creatures trapped inside her gaze.</p><p>         I felt a sleeping vengeful dragon awaken inside of me as mom proceeded to hold the golden key out towards me. </p><p> “  Sayu please help me hide this one truth from the world… I just don’t want Kaida to be remembered as she truly was,”  my mother begged with all of the useless desperation her heart was able to hold.</p><p>      With narrowed eyes I turned my back to her and growled a uncharacteristically cruel no. My heart did not fill with any remorse as I heard her choked sods. My mind was only encaptured  by a bitter curiosity that wondered what did my cousin do to make my normally ordinary smiling mom act like this ?</p><p>          Looking down at the quadratic equation now it seems to be the simplest problem in the world to solve. With that line of thought in mind I take a seat again and focus all my attention on finding the answer to this stupid math problem.</p><p>          I hardly noticed my mother’s  quiet apology or the creaking floorboards of the stairs as she climbed up them to get to Kaida’s bedroom.</p><p>         But I did notice the sound of a gunshot resounding from the second floor and of a body hitting the ground.</p><p>        At the top of the stairwell stood a murderer with chaotic blonde curls and a remorseless beautiful blue gaze.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Crimson Stars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harue </p><p> The strange girl with red star beads woven into her complexly braided ebony hair sat alone with only a feast of sweets to keep her company. I sat alone with only a forgotten cold coffee wondering about how I would die today.</p><p>  “I’m nothing ,” I whispered softly with a slight trembling voice before I raised the vile coffee towards my lips. </p><p>  The hazel gaze of the strange girl came to settle upon me following that truthful whispered insult . Her eyes held a curious creature behind them that studied me  with a near zealous curiosity and a flicker of some unknown wish. </p><p>   The strange girl reached down into a worn brown paper bag that laid beside her chair with a small smile dancing  upon her narrow beautiful features .She pulled an old dry erase board and marker out of the paper bag. For a short few minutes she scribbled upon the board with a careful concentrated hand. </p><p>   Every few moments her hand would stop temporarily in the middle of its focused dance and she would spare me an anxious glance . Her anxiety seemed to silently beg me with all the power in the world to not leave her alone. Isolation, it seems, was the curse we both hated to suffer from. </p><p>     The cold coffee soon found itself left behind at the table without much thought as I came to sit across from this strange girl. Smiling weakly the girl finally held up the old board for me to see.</p><p>      A quickly constructed masterpiece of detailed gothic calligraphy came to stare back at me with a grim acceptance. The masterpiece was a simple message that hauntingly read: We are kindred spirits it seems. I’m nothing as well . </p><p>    “ Why are you nothing,” I asked softly as I reached for one of the numerous untouched chocolate muffins . </p><p>    Regretfully the beautiful gothic calligraphy was harshly destroyed with a few wipes from the ancient sleeve of the girls midnight colored Lolita style dress. </p><p>   The beautiful art that had been the strange girl's words the first time now was being written with a careless hand. My ignorance destroyed  the people that I loved  ,the new haunting message read in a sloppy nearly unlegible cursive. </p><p>     The curious creature housed in the girl's hazel gaze seemed to be expecting me to answer my own question but instead I took a bite of the muffin. With a wrinkled nose I fought with my complaining stomach to keep the sanding tasting… muffin… from ending up on the floor. </p><p>     What terrible thing did you do to deserve to be called nothing, the girl wrote just below her previous statement with an impatient air about her. </p><p>   She began to glare as the moments continued to trial by without hearing a single word from me.</p><p>     I placed the remaining pieces of muffin back onto the table with a single goal of stealing a more delectable one from this strange girl's army of untouched sweets. My fingertips have only just lightly grazed the top of my newly chosen muffin when my vision becomes obscured by red frosting. </p><p>    The strange girl with the star beads in her hair appears to have thrown a ...cupcake at me . A chair is pushed back and the sound of a paper bag crinkling fills my ears as I work halfheartly to wipe the frosting from my eyes. </p><p>    Just as my vision is about to greet the colorful world again, a hand slams a small chocolate cake into my face. </p><p>    I feel a red demon inside of me raging heatedly about destroying this oddly silent strange girl but it soon withers away into being nothing more than a whisper. Why the red demon withers away is for the same reason I sit alone in a coffee shop contemplating how death will come to greet me early. </p><p>    The reason is...is…I don’t know… maybe because I am a monster… maybe it’s because...I’m nothing.</p><p>  I wiped the cake slowly from my face with mixed results . </p><p>   When my eyes finally greet the world of color again , a photograph and the old dry erase board is sitting on the crumb infested table before me. </p><p>  The photograph is slightly ripped around the edges and scarred with tiny wonderfully done calligraphy. The picture showed three muddy children sitting in the shade of an ancient apple tree smiling. Beneath their forms the calligraphy read :</p><p>          We were all crimson stars destined to die young in some way .</p><p>          A , was an Icarus whose story ends with the same classic deadly fall.</p><p>          His death was a short physical existence .</p><p>          B , was a Lucifer whose defeat at the hands of a God caused his fall to become deadly in a different type of way.</p><p>          His death was a broken chaotic mind.</p><p>          A and B wore grins constructed of millions of falsehoods.</p><p>          I was tired of tragic truths so an ignorant path is one I chose to tread upon.</p><p>          Perhaps I could have been their messiah if my mind had not had a vendetta against reality.</p><p>         But my humanity perished long before I  befriended these fellow crimson stars.</p><p> </p><p>  The sloppy cursive on the dry erase board reads:</p><p> </p><p>    Judging by your uniform you must go to Eishu Junior High School.</p><p>   Tomorrow is going to be my first day there.</p><p>   Don’t kill yourself  until we get to finish are talk sometime tomorrow.</p><p>   If you happen to have humanity keep in mind that if you try to kill yourself again I‘ll commit suicide too.</p><p>your friend , Nishimura Kaida<br/>P.S.</p><p>        Learn some manners and don’t steal people's food.</p><p> </p><p>“  Kaida you're not only strange but fucking crazy,” I found myself saying between odd moments of a rare unforced laughing fit . “  You better pay for this sir,”  an aged glaring voice growls suddenly from behind me  which causes me to shoot up from my chair. “  Yes I will ,” I say quickly with a forced shaking smile painted onto my face as I stare up into the devil like eyes of the startlingly intimidating ancient waitress . By the time I paid Kaida’s rather hefty bill, there was only one yen left to my name.  </p><p>    The strange girl with red star beads woven into her complexly braided hair kept me alive that night with a promise that my remaining humanity would never allow it to become a reality.</p><p>    Before I knew it that promise had forced me to live three long years after the date that should of marked the day of my suicide . Till this day I’m still left to wonder about how Kaida knew that I was about to kill myself.</p><p>    The date now is November 28, 2006 and I feel like shit. </p><p>    My grandmother apparently feels even more like shit so I was the poor sap to be chosen to go out and scavenge for food.</p><p>    I expected the worst that my grocery shopping trip would entail would be perhaps throwing up on some poor unfortunate soul… but no it was even worse than that. </p><p>    Just right outside the store I caught the unfortunate sight of Kaida racing away from the scene of a murder wearing damming blood stained white shoes.</p><p>     A blonde haired girl was racing after her with a near zealous determination as  she shouts for her to stop and that everything will be alright .</p><p>    The police sirens fill the air in the near distance soon after. </p><p>    As I gaze over at the first body laying in the doorway of the store a rather stupid idea takes shape in my mind.</p><p>    Having the flu never tends to breed genius plans explaining how to effectively help your friend get away with murder .</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Merry Christmas to everyone!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Harue  poem recounting the events of his stupid poorly thoughtout plan to save Kaida from the consequences of being a murderer.</b>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In the mind of I , a cursed idiot decided it was best to burn away the perceived crimson sins of my runaway friend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To commit the sin of Cain one must have a motive I know but to think of hers was unnecessary for me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What had I been thinking about then as I stood observing my children flames devouring her victims corpses and their final resting place.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A flicker of fear comes to rip apart my heart as I gaze upon the grand purifying sight with the cries of sirens echoing in my ears.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“ Shut up ,” I dared to yell as the small gathering of police officers demanded for my silent surrender and the deaths of my fires .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A blonde angel wanders behind the so called servants of justice with the gaze of Cain, of God seeking eagerly for a crimson mission .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“People are unfortunate and simply unlucky at times, Rem,” the angel comments to some unseen being as she writes a ledger for the false servants of justice.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Looks of confusion and words of suspicion arise from the gathered doomed false servants of justice .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Every moment that draws to a hurried  close slowly shows the true nature of a grinning angel .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A simple laugh escapes the angel when the first of the pretenders falls into death's embrace.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seeing the work of what can only be that of a God is something that leaves you falling to the ground with an overpowering sense of horror and grandiose amazement.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Unknownable stupidity had sent me on a poorly thought out path to save my murderous friend .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Revelations of the most tangible breed sent me fleeing from this angel of death.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if I ran it did not matter in the end for the angel tells me she knows my name and that could be my death.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The two of us silently decided to make the dead pretenders an offering to my growing children flames.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Only she smiles and laughs as we come to watch this grand purifying sight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    <em>Both of us eventually come to the point of tears as the realization that we have committed the sin of Cain settles upon our minds.</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    <em>Unknownable dread seized my heart as I observed the weeping angel lovingly holding the black notebook of death close to her heart.</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span><em>Regret surprisingly never ventured into my realm of muses when I dare think upon my idiotic plan to save my friend</em> <em>and the events that followed.</em></span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>
    <em>Never In a million years did I think this purifying sight would be massacred by the world exploding around us due to foreign influences .</em>
  </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Death Parade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kaida</b>
</p><p><br/>I remember only the girl with an umbrella and my uncle's terrified gaze when my eyes open to reveal the tiny bland world that is an elevator . The bland elevator passes by hundreds of floors in a matter of quickly forgotten seconds without a single sign of  ever slowing down .</p><p> “  We will be arriving at Moirai soon ,” A warm voice says from behind me which sends me turning around to silently glare at the unknown speaker with colorful hair and unseen eyes.</p><p> “ Moirai what an odd name… wasn’t that the names of the fates from Greek mythology ,”  I questioned the oddly grinning man before my eyes widened  with the realization that my vow of silence had been thoughtlessly broken.</p><p>   “  Indeed they are… don’t look so sad about your lost vow it was already over to begin with,”  The seemingly eyeless man said with an ever growing grin  .</p><p>   The pit in my stomach suddenly seemed to become a monster infested abyss that I am powerless to escape from . My eyes are fragile dams just about to fall away and let the tear seas that they held back rush uncontrollably down my face. My hands were shaking fists just yearning  for an excuse to fight, to declare war...to taste the blood of anyone even if that someone was Death itself.</p><p>       A single laugh escaped me before a sob choked the next one in its infancy as my mind focused on the image of death dancing though my mind.</p><p>      “ I always pictured death as a grim dark clocked being not an elevator operator,” I whispered to the man before turning away from him to glare aimlessly at the stubbornly closed doors.</p><p>     “  I am simply an elevator operator that brings the dead to their floor of judgement . Death itself is even stranger to me than it is to you,” The man says with a warm tone that as time trails by, it begins to sound more like a farce trying desperately to conceal a vile bitterness.</p><p>     “ You are a bit like Charon then… tell me who will be the judge for my case ,”  I asked softly with a voice that had remained silent for a near decade.</p><p>     “ Whatever remains of Moirai I suppose but only Castra we’ll know the true answer to your question ,” The eyeless man says right as the elevator slides open to reveal  my destination, a hallway constructed entirely of bone.</p><p>    “ Then I guess I better meet her,”  I say with gritted teeth before exiting the bland world of the elevator without a single word or glance of farewell for the smiling eyeless man.</p><p>   The hallway was a twisted poorly lit affair that thankfully gave way to the main chamber relatively quickly.</p><p>   With a backdrop of what could only be Earth itself peering through huge window panes, crimson rain falls endless from an ebony ceiling.</p><p>   My hazel gaze follows the slow moving blood droplets with the sudden realization that they probably represented someone's soul in death perhaps.</p><p>   Glass wine glasses filled with these crimson rains litter nearly every available space in this chamber of the dead.</p><p>    “  None of them are yours , Kaida,” a unseen female says suddenly with her voice echoing harshly throughout the room.</p><p>   “  None of them belong to the woman that killed you either ,”  the unseen female hissed as a grin formed on my face.</p><p>     “  I don’t care as long as she’s dead,”  I dare to shout before Castra grabs my hair and pulls it until I’m forced to face her.</p><p>     “  When there is no crimson rain to account for your death that means The creator… a God we all thought was long dead has decided to play a game no one knows the real purpose for,”  Castra begins as she rips a chunk of hair out of my head and throws the bloody mess carelessly out onto the ground.</p><p>      Castra holds a silver blade against my throat while tears slide down my face as I try to hold back a scream of pain .</p><p>       Her face is the skull of some unknown creature with sharp deadly fangs.</p><p>        I  glare up into the empty darkness of the skull's eye sockets feeling the wraiths of sleeping dragons awaken inside of me. </p><p>      “  Kaida ,” A heartbreaking familiar voice screams from the entrance of this chamber of death.</p><p>      “  None of the crimson rains belong to your aunt as well . The Creator seems to fancy having her as the final player for their game. So let’s begin your murderer is already ready to start,” Castra declares before I  discover myself falling towards the ground choking slowly on my own blood.</p><p>      “  Resurrection is the victors prize while the complete annihilation of one's soul is the punishment for the losers .  The rules of this game are only known by God and his chosen Justice … I wish you good luck ,” are Castra’s final words to me before her form departs from view .</p><p>      Ebony spots work quickly to steal the gift of sight from me.</p><p>      My name is being shouted by a terribly familiar voice.</p><p><em>     “</em><strong><em>  Was it even her time to die,</em></strong>” I silently whispered to death as the tear stained face of my aunt entered my nearly extinct sight.</p><p><em>    “ </em><strong><em> Or are you simply a slave to the wishes of a bored God ,”  </em></strong>I silently shouted at death as Castra’s silver blade cuts my sobbing aunt's throat open and my vision finally dies .</p><p>Death’s reaction to my taunting questions seems to be a cruel one.</p><p>For as the darkness of my second end deserts me I find myself glaring up into the hazel eyes of my mothers killer.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Yume</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Authors note: This is the end of part one of this series.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: Talk of past Rape    </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yume</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“  Whore get the fuck up ,”  I imagined a man shout everytime my seven year old brother yells that breakfast is ready through my bedroom door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  I climb out of the bed in a hurry without a thought to the blankets that have come to cage my body during the night. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>    I’m a tripping mess in a matter of seconds without much time to scream before my face slammed against the cheap stained carpet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  “ I’m sorry,”  I loudly apologized to an evil man that had not really been there since a fateful Tuesday about five weeks ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  “  Yume are you okay,” My little brother asks as he tries to open a door that is both locked and barricaded to the finest degree.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   “  Tell mom I will be down in a minute, Ren ,”  I say after a long moment of simply watching the door handle move and silently willing myself to believe that I had the power to determine who would enter my bedroom or not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   “ Fine,” I hear Ren bite out before he stomped down the stairs already done with the game I had been playing ruthlessly since that fateful Tuesday.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    There is a burning sensation coming to linger upon my face as I escape from my blanket constructed prison.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   I  slowly wandered over to my vanity , picking up the scattered pieces of my wrinkly school uniform off the ground as I went along. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>  Now normal black eye bags come to mock me as I dare to stare into the truthful mirror for yet another day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     “  Mirror mirror on the wall who is the unluckiest girl of all,” I whispered as I lightly touched the new throbbing blisters forming on my face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>   “  I’m far luckier than most there is still breath in my lungs and life in my eyes ,” I dare to say with a small smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    Slowly with a recently practiced hand I go about creating a fragile mask to hide behind with only a few simple powders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   I only have a small plastic comb to battle the two day old tangled jungle that my hair has become.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    In the end my cheap plastic weapon loses the war against my moody purple hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    In the midst of defeat I ripped chunks of my hair out until the stupid comb was rescued from its tangled cage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    Laughter filled my messy bedroom with a loud intensity so screams and sobs would not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    “  I’m far luckier than all of the living and dead victims combined because at the very least I appreciate the humor of my suffering,” I said, feeling as if all the universe was shaking their heads and calling my little act in the mirror pure bullshit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>      It was pure bullshit but it was better than completely dealing with a fucked up bittersweet reality.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>      A bittersweet reality that had been revealed by two red stripes on a pee covered stick in some rundown store restroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    The aromas of bacon and eggs thankfully only registers to my nose when I’m just about to climb out of the window.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   Today I’m only plagued with a brief minute of overwhelming nausea before it faded away into the backdrop of my mind .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   I dropped my school bag out of the window without a thought to what might break during its graceless fall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>      I took my time climbing down the side of my house even if my first class had already started 20 minutes ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   School was nothing more than a useless distraction at this point anyways.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     My eyes darted around the untidy front yard and down the street a short ways already expecting the devil man to appear so he could put a  stop to my little escape.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    The sound of the front door creaking open filled my ears as I hoisted the straps of the backpack onto my shoulders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   “ It’s not healthy to skip breakfast you know ,”  My adoptive mother says with a touch of concern in her tone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    “  I need to get to school  . I’m already late ,”  I said softly ignoring my instinct to scream and glare at the spineless woman.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     “ Yume , don’t go to school looking like some unkempt fool. It’s not a good image to have ,”  she said with a sharp commanding tone as I went about unlocking the front gate leading out onto the sidewalk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     Looking absently down at my wrinkled uniform and blowing a wad of tangled purple locks out of my eyes causes me to grin bitterly over at this spineless woman.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     “  Having a good image is bullshit to you . If it was so important to have one you would have at least tried to keep that man from… hurting me ,”  I said with a small anxiety cursed  laugh. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>     “  Go to school and have a great day sweetie. Never forget though about what happened last time you opened your mouth and told the truth… Your truth was ignored and forgotten. No one will give a damn about helping you ,”  the spineless woman growled before disappearing back inside her little rundown house of horrors .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    The sound of the creaking front door being slammed shut echoed throughout my mind as I wandered down the uniquely desolate sidewalk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    I had run down this street once shouting for help after someone had raped me for the first time three years ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   A kind old lady had eventually come to my aid .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  “ It’s going to be okay,” the old woman had promised me with a smile before the police arrived with their cold questions and unbelieving minds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  In the end I was never okay again and that old woman was the last person to truly try to help me .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  It was during the second period of the day when I finally arrived at school.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  The courtyard was quiet and void of people, thankfully as I made my way slowly through it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  The hideous song of a raven perched upon a tree branch stole my focus away from my mission of getting to English class.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  A shiver ran down my spine as I realized the raven was staring, almost seeming to glare at me with his beady ebony gaze.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> The dreadful creature took flight as his dreadful song came to its conclusion and my eyes trailed after his soaring form for a short time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  The raven flew over a lonesome black notebook lying amongst the small grass clearing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   He circled it like a vulture would a rotting corpse while he began to sing his hideous song once again .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   Come closer to it… I dare you, the ravens ebony glare seemed to dare me when it came to rest silently on the back of a bench.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  I bit the bottom of my lip and almost walked away from this peculiar sight .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  Curiosity rose up inside of my spirit , stealing away my will to flee from this ominous mystery.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  What did I really have to lose by getting a closer look at a notebook?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  It’s not as if I’m making a deal with a Demon or the Devil?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  When I absentmindedly dropped my book bag on the bench the raven went bolting towards the heavens in a rather panicked fashion .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   “ Coward ,” I muttered underneath my breath as I watched his black form disappear quickly in the distance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   When he was completely gone I turned my focus back onto the notebook .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     The words Death Note were written with a unique slightly bazaar style across the front cover of the black journal.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>    With a raised eyebrow I picked this … Death Note up from the ground without much thought and flipped it open to the first page.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  “ The human whose name is written in this note shall die,” were the dreadful words I found myself reading and saying out loud to an audience I thought was only made up of silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  “  It’s like one of those chain letters, a stupid sick joke,” A male’s voice said from behind me rather suddenly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   A scream was weakly held captive in my throat as my teeth bit harshly down upon my bottom lip.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   Fight was the only clear thought floating through my mind as an ancient type of terror seized control over it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   A harsh slapping noise and a man cursing were the only things to register in my mind for a long while before the realization of what I had done hit me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   “ I’m so sorry ,” I stuttered as a small red mark began to take form upon Yagami Light’s cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   “  It’s fine. Don’t worry about it, I deserve it after scaring you,” Light said with an understanding smile , his nearly crimson eyes seemed to be stubbornly fixated upon the Death Note resting in my shaking hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     “ But it’s still not everyday I must say that one gets slapped in the face with a … Death Note of all things.”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Second part</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Second Part</p><p>                                                Moirai </p><p> </p><p>Kaida </p><p> </p><p>Amongst a small gathering of darkly clothed mourners and a backdrop of a decaying winter world , I alone was dressed in friendship yellow . </p><p>  There were many frowns being pointed at the pine coffin in an expected tired show of pity as the carelessly thrown dirt piled on top of it.</p><p>  My long skirt swayed chaotically in yet another violent gust of wind that I swore carried the laughter and worries of my fallen friend. </p><p>  It’s just grief haunting me with memories I promised myself silently as a shiver ran down my spine. </p><p>  That promise did nothing to comfort me as I went back to gazing upon the mourners' features searching desperately for one true show of rare grief.</p><p>  A single tear sliding down one of the fuckers faces was all it would take to prove to my mind that this had not been a wasteful farce to begin with.</p><p>  This time when I looked at them they did not even have any of the  distant pitiful frowns marking their faces.</p><p>  For they no longer had faces only ebony forms that are slowly fading away with each relentless assault of the wind.</p><p>  “  Tip of advice Little dragon don’t let yourself get lost in the past especially here ,” my mothers killer said with a small sigh as he came to appear behind A’s tombstone.</p><p>   I simply glared up into his bright hazel eyes and growled,” Perhaps this endless freak show of my own fucked up past is all that is here.”</p><p>  In response to my show of shouts and gritted teeth my father laughed before saying ,” Little dragon don’t be a fool to think that this God plays such simple games… and don’t be so pathetic that you become the puppet he gets bored of first.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Fearful shadow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>          :Summary for Moirai:</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>         A story of the days and years leading up to Kaida’s demise . Along with the aftermath of Yume and Light finding the Death Note .</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>Kaida Nishimura-</strong></p><p>
  <strong>   A poem written 3-4 years before her murder. </strong>
</p><p>   </p><p>
  <em>    I was a fearful shadow once.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>    A mute and invisible all seeing being.</em>
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  <em>    A shy stalker waiting for the courage to say hello.</em>
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  <em>    I had come home to what remained of my golden past eager to embrace it once more.</em>
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  <em>    But I was a lost relic of the past who lacked confidence in ever finding a place in these present times.</em>
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  <em>    So I became a fearful shadow watching the evolved remains of my golden past live their lives.</em>
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  <em>    Until a fellow lost girl decided it was time to die.</em>
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</p><p><strong>Unknown</strong> <strong>time and prospective</strong></p><p> </p><p>Thousands of blue Forget-me-not petals are gathered around my feet as I stand on a rooftop with a God of Death.</p><p>    Red and ever growing flickers of violet paint the endless heavens as the glow of the sun sinks below the horizon.</p><p>   “  Forget ,”  I whisper when my shaking hand rips the final azul petal off the last of the Forget-me-nots.</p><p>   “  Have you made up your mind yet ,”  Ryuk hissed before biting into an apple that he abruptly spit out not even a moment later.</p><p>   “  I thought you were an apple addict ,”  I said with a raised eyebrow as I watched the last blue petal flutter slowly down to its previously fallen kin.</p><p>   “  I am an apple addict but this green abomination,” Ryuk begins with a menacing growl before declaring with a growing rage,”  has no reason to dare think it's equal to or better than a juicy old red apple.”</p><p>     I let myself laugh at his classic antics before forcing myself to sober up from this joy high to say goodbye .</p><p>     “  I think I’ll miss you a lot ,” I say with a small grin to the odd shinigami that now glares at me.</p><p>     “  Your wish is an abomination just like this green thing ,” Ryuk hisses right before tossing the green apple off the roof without a thought to the well-being of the  Pedestrians below.</p><p>    “ Well I still want my abomination of a wish to be granted fairy godmother , Ryuk . So listen to me when I say that I revoke my ownership of the Death Note ,” I nearly shout with shaking hands clenched at my sides.</p><p>     “Fine but it is a pity that I will lose such grand entertainment ,” The  God of Death says with all the annoyance of a spoiled child that had suddenly been deprived of its greatest wish .</p><p>    Then everything becomes a blurred mess of old sadness and crippling confusion that is quickly being imprisoned in the back of my mind.</p><p>   A gust of wind sends the Forget-me-not petals scattering across the roof and flying off the side of the ledges.</p><p>   The sky is now a mural depicting the earliest colors of night.</p><p>  In the twilight I stand on that stupid rooftop wiping foolish tears from my idiotic face as I silently curse this shamefully rotten world.</p><p>
  <strong>Note: I might rewrite the poem I kind of low key think I perhaps could have wrote it better . Anyways every one have a great day or whatever!</strong>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Perhaps</h2></a>
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  <strong>Kaida</strong>
</p><p> “  Are you really my father ,”  I discovered myself impulsively inquiring after another grim memory concluded, leaving the darkness of the oblivion to become the single true reality once again.</p><p>      “  Perhaps ,”  The hazel eyed phantom answered with an edge of uncertainty trailing upon his words.</p><p>     He gazed off into the gathering darkness beyond my form , losing himself to the many contemplations that had been borne from a single question and his quick reply.</p><p>    A white pearl grin shot across his face with a thunderous start and soon after its sudden appearance the phantom had another thing to say.</p><p>“  Are you really my daughter ?”</p><p>   I rolled my eyes at him before teasingly answering his absurd question with a statement of perhaps.</p><p>   The phantom studied me for another moment before his white pearl grin faded and he said ,” Little Dragon when you chose another memory from your unfortunate life to obscure this darkness with . Please, pick a happy one .”</p><p>    “  I thought I was not supposed to get lost in the past , especially here ,” I hissed as my fragile moment of amusement stumbled and crashed into the arms of Death.</p><p>    My hands rolled up into fists and my tongue was ready to unleash a merciless assault of insults upon my mothers killer.</p><p>    Then a shiver ran down my spin as some flickering fragment of my mind recalled and recognized a mistake .</p><p>       My father hated nicknames.</p><p>       My mother had once had the habit of calling me sweetheart.</p><p>       That quickly ended when my father broke her arm after hearing her say it around the house.</p><p>     “  The only nickname my father ever had for me was idiot ,” I told the hazel eyed imposter who soon began to fade away just like the darkly clothed mourners had.</p><p>      “  Fuck you ,” I hissed without completely knowing if I was really cursing at God or my dad.</p><p>     The oblivion became an apple tree with a tombstone resting underneath its freezing shade. </p><p>     A yellow skirt swaying widely in a whispering whirlwind temporarily distracts a weeping girl with star beads in her hair.</p><p>     “  You need to come inside K ,” The anxious voice of Roger Ruvie orders from from behind the girl.</p><p>         The mute girl absentmindedly fights with her yellow skirt and the wind while she raises her eyebrows at the shivering Ruvie as if to ask a silent question.</p><p>       “ L is here and he wants to speak to you ,” Ruvie says before turning to walk away without another word already so certain that this girl… that I would follow him out of this scene of grief .</p><p>         I did follow him into Wammy’s House without protest.</p><p>         I tried to recall how this memory went but remembering it was rather… like capturing phantoms.</p><p>    I knew for a quick moment that I was fucking dead and a victim of some bored God.</p><p>   I knew for a quick moment that I had already lived through this event .</p><p>   I knew for a quick moment that I was losing myself to the past.</p><p> Then as that moment of clarity ended I heard the voice of the imposter ask  ,”  Did you ever wonder for a moment if you truly knew yourself or your mother and father at all ?”</p><p>     The question wandered through my mind for a short time not unlike a lost child searching desperately for its mother.</p><p>     I felt a flicker of concern for it but all too soon the origin for this feeling becomes lost to me.</p><p>     So I change it’s mysterious origin to one that mirrors the reason behind why my shattered heart and soul is seeking relentlessly for a way to make L suffer a truly horrific downfall.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Button eyes</h2></a>
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    <p><strong>Kaida</strong> </p><p>The poor girl only had buttons for eyes and some cruel child had ripped one out before abandoning the rag doll onto the dusty grand staircase.</p><p>      The rest of her worn body was miraculously spared the abusive treatment that made her eye socket a grotesque show of gushing stuffing carnage.</p><p>      Someone long ago had used a simple ebony thread to stitch a sweet grin across the dolls face probably in hopes of it comforting a frightened child. </p><p>     If the doll had ever been alive it’s grin would never have been used for its intended purpose.</p><p>   The dolls grin would have been a silent taunt to her abusers challenging them to find some nightmare so hellish that even she could not smile through the pain it inspired.</p><p>   That cruel child had been nothing more than an idiot when it dared to destroy the doll's button eyes instead of its threaded smile.</p><p>    The taunting grin had given the paralyzed being a taste of power while those buttons had only ever given her the endless terror of staring weakly up into the eyes of her tormentors.</p><p>  That child’s ignorant cruelty had been an unknown blessing.</p><p> “  The other children are off the grounds at the moment but not for long. So, K please hurry up , ”  Ruvie said from the top of the long wooden staircase with a pretentious glare.</p><p>  Ruvie glare formed into a small smile when he saw that I was making my way up the creaking staircase without a single glare or show of displeasure directed at him.</p><p>     When I got halfway up that staircase to hell I reached down and picked up the rage doll.</p><p>   More stuffing bled out of her eye socket as she was raised gently to the heavens.</p><p>    Her smile losted it’s challenging edge as she quietly gazed up at me.</p><p>    Her threaded smile almost looked like it would leap into action easily and eagerly begin thanking me for taking notice of her real self .</p><p>   Ruvie was growling at me to carry on as I traced over the black edges of the button eye.</p><p>   Ruvie was thundering down the stairs towards me when I took it upon myself to rip out the dolls remaining eye.</p><p>    I gently sat her down against the staircase railing with a small smile silently hoping that she would never feel terror again .</p><p>      “ Why did you do that ,” Ruvie slowly asked with a furrowed brow.</p><p>   My response was a simple shrug and a blank stare that lead him to study me with a dark pair of bitter eyes.</p><p> The next passing moments saw me passing by the troubled man and taking my turn to stare back expectantly at him from atop the grand staircase.</p><p>  “  He is waiting in A’s room,” Ruvie said in a slow cautious fashion that nearly sent me up the wall with an ever growing annoyance .</p><p>   “ Don’t do anything stupid,” Ruvie warned as I sharply turned away from him with my hands balled into shaking fists.</p><p>    <em> ‘  Fuck you all ,’ </em>I yelled in my head while I stormed down the hallway until I stood only steps away from the open doorway of my dead friend’s bedroom.</p><p>         “  What are you angry about Kaida ,”  a faintly familiar voice asked from the poorly lit room.</p><p>    My only response to his question was a simple dialogue of useless silence.</p><p>     I found myself slowly retreating from the doorway as the wooden floors creaked under the weight of someone walking towards me.</p><p>      “  Do you think I was the reason for A’s death ,”  The voice inquired as I stumbled into someone’s chest.</p><p>      A hand comes to grip my shoulder in an iron hold that I am positively sure would leave my skin a lovely violet color.</p><p>   “  I know A was really murdered ,”  L revealed while he leaned rather carelessly against the door frame.</p><p>   “  But I don’t quite know who all exactly had a hand in his homicide,” L says while his ebony eyes bore into my hazel ones seemingly to be silently inquiring if I now fancied being another killer just like my father.</p><p>    I just glared at him  and wished that someone had enough mercy in their heart to rip my fucking eyes out.</p>
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